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dimanche, février 10, 2008

Is it really OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough ?


Still holding out for Mr. Right, even as middle age quickly approaches? Don't hold your breath, says Lori Gottlieb. Here, the author and single mom explains why true love may be a fantasy — and why that's not necessarily a bad thing.


Although I don't agree with everything she's saying, I must say that this interesting article from the Atlantic Monthly magazine has a point and - although I don't agree - makes a good case on why women should settle for "Mr. Good Enough."

Our society and even Hollywood have somewhat ingrained in our minds that we -women- should be looking for "Mr Right", fall madly in Love and Marry him. Divorce rates in our modern society teach us that reality is a little bit more complex. So here is the question that pays : "To settle or not ? because while being with a partner who is "beneath you" is problematic, being single just plain "sucks".


Eugene Volokh has an interesting comment on his blog regarding the matter, to him,
"marriage isn't a passion-fest; it's more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business." What do you - girls & guys - think? It goes back to a discussion I had we friends last week over dinner and could be summarized this way : aiming for mister Right and settling for mister kind of Right... I still don't believe that lowering your expectations will get you far, but again this is my humble opinion.


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4 comments:

Anonyme a dit…

Et oui, le prince charmant n'existe pas, mais il n'y a pas que des crapauds...
Don't be too picky, it's all about compromises, from the get go!

DG a dit…

This is precisely what people need to read---There is a practicality to marriage that has been completely overshadowed by the hollywood notion--and marketing of "love" ---after all how did people that went through arranged marriages survive?...
This article is so on point I cannot even find a fault in it...in a sense I have never worried because the opportunities for an African man are perhaps even more than a Western/European older man (for instance I can at 40 easily marry a 22 year old and no one will say much in Nigeria--while it may raise eye brows in New York:):)
I believe love should grow in a relationship so its better to start when it lower...instead of getting married at the peak of your love (infatuation) and 3 years later file for divorce because real life sets in and you realize its not a Cinderella story.:):)

We all bring different skills and experience to the table and the more different your spouse is from you---perhaps the more interesting and long lasting the marriage will be!!

Ajit a dit…

Lydie -
I believe the writer would have come to a different conclusion if she had read this link
http://www.mil-millington.com/

No?
- Ajit

Eddy a dit…

Ah ces femmes et leur histoire de prince charmant, vraiment...